An Ode to Pizza

Roses are red, violets are blue
Pizza is life, I’ll have some garlic bread too.
The warm cheesy bread, the crisp crust & sauce
Only you can make me forget my flaws.

The doorbell rings, my heart fills with joy
You look like a piece of heaven, oh boy!
Lovingly wrapped in cardboard sheen
Your sheer beauty makes pasta go green.

Although your life is rather short-lived
The pleasure you provide can always be relived
Over again in the depths of my heart;
I love you, until death do us apart.

#4 Thoughts on a Thursday

*Alarm goes off* *Snooze*
I want to kill someone! Can I call in sick? May be I am sick. I feel a little fuzzy in the head. Temperature feels fine- unless, it’s one of those hidden fevers. Yeah, yeah Jen had one, may be I got it from her! *Cough* I can’t go to work and spread the fever. I must not. It’s my responsibility towards mankind. Yeah I’m being responsible by not going.

Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. What a beautiful day! I can literally smell the sunshine. Oh, that’s just last night’s dishes.

Do I really need a job? May be I should get one of those jobs where you don’t have to wake up in the morning, or wake up at all. Like in Inception, yeah I could do that. I miss not having to have a job.

*Alarm goes off*

Late for work. Bye

Tête-à-tête with a jacket

A Zara jacket has been calling out to me all summer.
Zara Jacket: Yeee!!!! Look at me! I am on 50% sale. 2500 bucks ONLY!
Me: 2500 bucks?! That’s a lot for a jacket. That too in summer. I don’t need you.
ZJ: Look at all these cool badges, look at this khakhi color. I am perfect for your style.
Me: *Must not give in. Must not give up. Must be strong*
ZJ: Laaaast piece, in your size too. We are MEANT TO BE..
Me: *Runs out of Zara & into Shopper’s Stop* Ha! Nothing can tempt me in here.
ZJ (through telepathy): You know you want it. Come and get it. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT. COME AND GET IT.
Me: (Hypnotic) Must.have.Zara.Jacket
*Marches into Zara to find ZJ missing*
Me: ARGHH!!!! How could you betray me? I thought we were meant to be!
ZJ: You’ve lost your chance. Now search for me in all the other Zaras you fool.
Me: Charlatan. Upstart. Selfish little…argh! I really wanted that ZJ 😦

Also Me: What am I doing talking to a jacket?

Here is the jacket in question. Pls msg if you find it in any Zara store

Fin.

New phone etc

I got a new phone. Why am I telling you this? Because I now have the WordPress app, which means brace yourselves for more (invigorating and exciting) content.

After 10 long years I finally decided to step off the Samsung bandwagon.

It’s a bad time for Samsung.

So glad I did because the One Plus that I left my Samsung for is serving me so well! Now I feel like an unfaithful girlfriend. Darn.

I digress.

Point being, good times will come.

Laters baby!

Life lessons from Hindi soaps

Gotta love Hindi soaps right? They are extremely entertaining, if not anything else, and they teach us the following important lessons

1. Concept of Punarjanam AKA rebirth: Hindi serials validate the belief that true love cannot be thwarted by death. Lead actors will definitely meet in the next life to carry on with their romance. Because, destiny. 
2. Identify household villains easily: Does your Mother-in-Law, Sister-in-Law, Cousin, Cat wear long bindis, punk make-up, sexy sarees and sport an all-knowing smirk? Yeah, you better watch out girl.
3. The heroine stereotype: Heroines are pretty, docile, dutiful and surprisingly naive. Although they seem to conquer the odds in the end (through no doing of their own, mind you) you would be shocked to see how (mentally) slow they are!
   Who needs feminism when my pati (husband) is my Bhagwaan (God).
4. Watch out for the full moon: Be wary. A tiger might not be any tiger during the full moon, he might just be your husband.
   How original. 
5. Generations of Retinol: Want to look 30 even when you’re 60? Retinol is the way to go. You may want to use your hair dye sparingly to prevent stealing the limelight away from the young bahu (daughter in law) though.
6. Don’t freak out about marriages: As far as marriages go, there is always a second ( third, fourth..) chance. If the first one doesn’t go right the third one might save your back. So save that lehenga girls!
   Pun intended.

Come on Hindi serials, you can do better than that. Please ask your script writers to use less innovation and more common sense. Until next time!

My very first Blog award! (and the procrastination that followed)

So NearlyWes nominated me for the Liebster award. Thank you Wes, you wonderful human being. Also, his blog tops the list of blogs that I follow religiously (because he’s so darn funny). So I guess you have to follow him, ‘cos laughter makes you live longer and you know you want to stay alive at least until they discover them Space bunnies. Right?

_____________________________________________________

LIEBSTER AWARD RULES:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
2. Display the Liebster Award on your blog
3. Share 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Answer the 11 questions you were asked.
5. Nominate 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers for the Award and have them answer 11 questions.
6. Let the other bloggers know you’ve nominated them.
7. Copy the rules into your post.

_____________________________________________________

11 Random facts about me

Disclaimer: Please don’t stop being friends with me after you read this

1. I chew my food in the left side of my mouth.
   I have a massive cavity on my molars in the right side which I have left untreated for a year because of my irrational fear of dentists. Oops!
2. ‘Foster’s Home for Imaginary friends’ is my most favorite cartoon ever.
3. I’m afraid of the dark because you never know what might be lurking in there. I just like to be cautious.
4. I absolutely HATE surprises
5. I dislike Chinese food. Too much dark slippery sauce!
6. When I was young, I honestly thought I could change the world but gave that thought up once I joined B school
7. I might be somewhere in between an introvert and a sociopath.
8. Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate chip ice cream is my ultimate go-to food for every situation. Whether I’m happy, sad, in pain, too sleepy, too bored..anything.
9. I am the ultimate procrastinator, which explains me putting up this post 3 days after I got nominated for the award. Ha-ha!
10. It took me 3 hours to write this blog post. I’m not slow, perfection takes time.
11. I am eagerly counting down days until my birthday, which is on Christmas eve! (thought I should just throw that in there)

My 11 Answers

1. What is your favorite book/manga/comic?
   ‘God of Small Things’ by Arundhati Roy.
2. What’s your favorite animal?
   Hamsters. For now.
3. When you were a kid, what did you want to be?
   An astronaut. So that I could check if the moon was really made of cheese 😉
4. If you could only drink one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
   Plain old water. Because once I suffered from an anxiety attack after having too many expressos. (Told you I was cautious)
5. What show/anime/cartoon/movie do you wish you could forget, just so you could watch it again for the first time?
   90210
6. Truth or Dare?
   Dare. Evil chuckle
7. What would be your dream job?
   Editor of my own lifestyle magazine
8. What inspires you?
   This is a toughie. Life inspires me? Honestly, I don’t know how to answer this.
9. If you had to open a box that held your deepest fear, what would be in it?
   That creepy dude from Saw.
10. If Make A Wish Foundation approached you and offered you a wish, what would it be?
    To give free education to all the little kids in India who cannot afford it.
11. If you could live in any other world (ex. Hogwarts, Middle Earth, Pokémon) which would you choose?
    Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory

My Nominees

Disclaimer: Few of my favorite bloggers have already received this award so I have purposefully excluded them from the list.

Side Note: This Liebster award thing is really going around huh. Everyone has one already!

1. https://kupory.wordpress.com/2015/12/26/chicken-taco-on-the-freeway/
2. https://classiccontemporaryliving.wordpress.com/2015/12/22/how-not-to-be-that-awkward-girl/
3. https://exclamatoryverbs.wordpress.com/2015/12/21/tights-everyday-thing-that-makes-me-irrationally-angry-2/
4. https://epicureanviews.wordpress.com/
5. http://wanderlushed.com/2015/12/21/funny-story-about-my-open-zipper/
6. https://mukthegaul.wordpress.com/2015/12/23/everybody-needs-a-good-orissa/
7. https://kianahasablog.wordpress.com/2015/11/12/this-is-the-third-blog-post-i-have-written-about-shia-labeouf-and-i-am-beginning-to-question-my-life-choices/
8. https://heytravelbug.wordpress.com/2015/11/30/being-thankful-in-baku/

 

My 11 questions

1. What is the one thing/ person in the world you cannot live without?
2. What is your biggest pet peeve?
3. Who is your movie/ series/ cartoon/ book alter ego?
4. Are you badass? (Okay. This is a trick question)
5. What is the song you are listening to right now?
6. What is your favorite thing about blogging?
7. Chocolate or red velvet?
8. Share the last thing that you found profoundly hilarious
9. What is your biggest life secret? (gotcha)
10. What is the one thing people find annoying about you?
11. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

My work here is done. Will be looking forward to all of your blog posts.
Until next time, keep cha-chaing!

Life lessons from romance novels

1. When life gives you a handsome hunk, lean in.
   
2. Dislike at first sight instills tolerance, lays foundation for potential likability  and then love
   
3. 9/10 times girls fall for the villain. Suspense is that the villain ain’t so villainish after all
   
4. It is very important to get your look on point even when you’re taking a nap because your hero might just be gazing through the window watching you. ‘Cos what’s more romantic than having a stalker boyfriend huh?
   
5. Also, love does not discriminate between species. Be it vampires, aliens, wizards or werewolves everyone deserves their fair share of love
6. Love triangles are highly entertaining
   
7. Forbidden love. ALWAYS more exciting than regular love
   
8. Even if you make only 3 mistakes in your life, falling in love would definitely be on the list
9. Guys have the weirdest fascinations
   
10. Any ending is a happy ending
    
11. Or may be it’s not time for ‘The End’?
    

12 things to do when you’re bored in class

Disclaimer: Most of these have been tried and tested and are proven to entertain both you and your classmates.

1. Choose a victim and stare him down
2. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself
3. Make up your own language
4. Learn origami
5. Make hearts out of paper clips and throw them at random guys
6. Raise your hand and say ‘May the force be with you’
7. Take a power nap under your desk
8. If the professor asks you a question, look deep into his eyes and  answer in a whisper
9. Rate your classmates on a scale of 1-5 and slip the paper into your benchmate’s desk
10. Stare at the ceiling, if someone asks why reply that you’re trying to communicate with your planet
11. Try to learn how to really play Minesweeper
12. Doodle on yourself, pretend you lost your memory and walk out of class

Funny Incidents #4: A walk to remember

A friend came home today asking if I’d like to go on a walk with him, then this happened:
Me: No, if you want to go somewhere we can take the bus
Friend: I just want to walk, to keep fit.
Me: Why don’t you walk on the treadmill in AC? It tells you the number of calories you’ve burnt.
Friend: A treadmill is a simulated environment, it doesn’t give you the fun of walking outdoors. Besides, it’s so nice outside.
Me *grudgingly tugging myself behind him, cursing my mum for forcing me into this ‘walk’*
Friend: Cheer up! Look at the scenery. Doesn’t it make you introspective? Dubai has changed so much.
Me  *looking at scenery*: * flowers-buildings-flowers-buildings-flowers-flowers-flowers-MALL* Let’s walk in the mall. It’s the biggest mall in the world, that’s a lot of walking space. Also, carrying the shopping bags around will be good weight training.
Friend: Don’t be silly. Look at all these nice people exercising. Don’t  they motivate you?
Me: Yes. They motivate me to go shopping for a better sports bra. Do you think she’s wearing Victoria’s Secret?
Friend *exasperated*: Don’t feel bad, but I don’t think I want to go for walks with you anymore.
Me: Aw, don’t say that. I respect your feelings ofcourse. And if my mum asks YOU decided to stop walking with ME. Now excuse me while I take a cab back home.

PS: It would really, really mean a lot to me if you gave me some feedback. Kthanksbye! 🙂