How to get an Uber in Bangalore

8.30 AM
Me: I need to leave by 9. Better start hunting down an Uber.
Uber app: No cars available in your area.
Refresh
Uber app: No cars available in your area.
Refresh Refresh Refresh
Uber app: Uber X available in 2 mins.
Confirm booking
Uber app: Booking failed due to high demand. No cars available in your area.
Me: Better walk a bit onto the main road and try again
Uber app: Uber X available in 2 mins.
Me: Oh wth. Must.confirm.asap.
CONFIRM BOOKING. CONFIRM BOOKING
Uber app: Booking failed due to high demand. No cars available in your area.

9:00 AM
Me: Frantically pulling out hair while desperately trying to flag down an auto
Auto wallah: It will be 500 Rupees.
Me: I haven’t even told you where I want to go! Drop me at Kormangala. It’s only 2kms.
Auto wallah (smirking): Kormangala? It will be 1000 Rupees.
Me: Buzz off! And I hope you burn in hell.

9:30 AM
Me: Praying intently while downloading Ola and walking in the direction of office.
Ola: Ola Prime available in 2 mins at 4X surge
CONFIRM BOOKING. CONFIRM BOOKING
Ola: Booking has been confirmed.
Me: I am waiting at Oasis Mall. Where are you?
Ola driver: Random gibberish in Kannada
Me: No Kannada, only English/ Hindi. Where are..
Ola driver: Location..Random gibberish in Kannada..Location
Me: OASIS MALL. OASIS MA..
Ola driver: More and more and more Kannada..
Me (Ready to slap the guy on the face): CHECK MAPS ON YOUR PHONE!
Ola driver: No map. Kannada..Kannada..Kannada..

10.15 AM
Me: You are 2 mins away. Take  right turn and drive straight
Ola driver: Howdhu..agahdybg..Howdhu
Takes a left turn.

~+|,Ho£$%^&*£”$%^&
I will just walk to office.